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Toronto-Apsley FumbleRumble May 29 - 31, 1998

The Gargantuan Fumbler Post

The following post was written on Brian Wilson's laptop over the Saturday and Sunday of the FumbleRumble by various Fumblers in attendance, and posted to the list by Brian later. As such, it's 26 K and not for the faint of heart (or for the faint-of-rambling) :-) Enjoy!

Mail-For: <[email protected]>
Date:	Mon, 1 Jun 1998 15:06:51 -0400
From:	Bloo <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Organization: Never had it, never will
To:	Road Buddies <[email protected]>
CC:	San Francisco Undercover Operatives <[email protected]>
Subject: Mass insanity from suicide round...somewhere north of Toronto
X-nder: [email protected]

Posting from the shores of gorgeous Chandos lake in north of Apsley
Ontario, listening 
to a ton of CDs, and gabbing like there's no tomorrow (and if the 
people in India/Pakistan have their way...), here is a slice of 
weirdness from this weekend...

The weekend according to Rannie: 
Where to start, There is a dead mosquito on the table (Mari says to me)
... Mosquitos and blackflies were a definite surprise guest to Camp
Fumbler, but i think we won the war, except for Tass who lost 12 pounds
of flesh during the weekend... but luckily he is still able to drive me
home tommorow afternoon. ( spwat} great i got another one. Okay i got my
cool green fly swatter in hand, inadvertantly hitting people along the
way. Okay i guess i should start somewhere near the beginning... hmmm
maybe Tass's car ride, with the night dancing deer.. ok i read the sign
wrong.. and i didn't have a drink yet... yeah Tass just got another
mosquito.... ( mosquitos 69- fumblers 6 ) okay back to the ride.. and my
backseat driving.... ok ok... Julian just flashed me.... it wasn't the
first time he flashed me this weekend.... i do remember flashed under
the table..( oh my!!) okay....  so after hours in the car.. and stopping
onced to get pumped by a 16 year old babe... we finally get to the
wonderfully fumble camp... me with Frank (my Honey) Tass and Julian in
tow... (Thanks for driving me Tass... you can drive me anytime)... lets
see... okay i think i acquired most of my bites between when i left the
car and got the repelant on... a whole 25 bites in a matter of 15
seconds...after settling into the cabin... i decided to check out the
drinking cabin where i worked in a pharmacy (or was that building a
mystery?) i dunno, but i wasn't drunk yet.... anyways.... wow the view
from  the cottages was amazing.... i walked down the floating deck where
i checked out the amazing  view of the lake.... hmmm i should really
move along here , cause quite a few more wanna write here,,, so i am
gonna go thru the weekend, via a suicide round... okay... so the night
proceeds.. where i get insanly drunk ....okay do i remember the rest of
the night... i think i saw stars.... i dunno.. okay.. so saturday.. i
kept waking and sleeping and waking and sleeping.... until 9 am where i
had to wander out of the cabin in just in my PJ's and a t shirt so i
could prep to get my lilith tickets.... after 45 mins and 400 bites
later i finally got my sec 409 seats for the toronto lilith via winnipeg
ticketmaster.... 5 mins after i get my second set of seat for the
saturday.... hurray.... after an afternoon of swimming, and cheesecake
making... and walking on water....(okay it was more like i was standing
in the middle of the lake and trying to row....  i somehow made it in
front of this computer screen.. the infamous computer of out traveling
bloo.... okay... i gotta go massage someone...  but i had an amzing
time.... Keep on Fumblin.... (Frank I Love You).... Next....\

okay.. here i am again... after everyone else was done typing... now..
with dark purple finger nails.. ( thanks mari) also after seeing John
Shepards artwork... wow... John you are an amazing artist....  so here i
am...  and here i go.... i think some one else needs a massage.. brian?
aside from the fact that the girls wanna start the drinking games or
not.... well the guys are done painting thier nails and doing the
dishes.... who says there is a double standard....

Rannie Turingan ([email protected])
The sweeter half of the cheesecake twins...

Frank ([email protected]) says hello... and he will see you all on the
PS: Frank here: Just want to say I had an amazing time and it was really
great meeting you all!  Seeya at the next rumble! PSS: feel free to
e-mail me anytime!
The better half of the cheesecake twins

Hmm... lets see, memories of a car ride up here.... lets see .. 12
accidents to pass and then an odd lunch (bloo hugging a beer bottle),
then the drive up here... i found out when to turn deopendinfg``g on
traffic (where do i turn Rannie.. well deoending on traffic) , then we
passed the Erotic Cat World (Julian place to go) and saw Night Dancers
for 10 clicks.. we also learned that Frank likes wet men in towels, in
fact it is his best part of Mad Tv. Frank said bye to the gas babe... We
got here and had a good dinner and learned how to play suicide (Jenns
favourite game 'oh god') She kept forgetting to call a suit. Hmmm,
Saturday was watching folks try to get tickets and doing dishes (except
Alex who was asleep...) Then we got tired doing nothing... Mind you the
cheesecake twins made a great cake, and it was a good dinner. And the
blackflies ate well too ... oh well, much more happend but i will let
others finish it off ...(Jenni and Squid are here now ) Well , have a
blast ... just remeber 'Gecko Tongues!!!!' 

Tass (not the sleazy guy) (:

This is Julian here, with Jenn (two nn's) I'll keep this brief 'cause if
you made it through Rannie's post and Tass's, you probably don't want to
read much more :=) I promise, no more ellipses!!!

So we're up in mosquito country, a few hours from where my parents live
(it's worse there, believe me), but the lake is absolutely beautiful.
Me, Brian and Jenn were out canoeing this afternoon, and despite our
hitting several logs, the swimming platform, and the tunnel underneath
the highway, it was very scenic. Bugs aside, I love cottage country.
It's been a nice vacation. ("me too" says Jenn)

Jenn wants me to mention that the four boys (me, Bloo, Rick and Tass)
*danced* for ice cream instead of screaming for it. We do a wicked
cancan :-)

Another thing that was really beautiful was laying on the dock last
night and watching the stars. ("Hey, that's a satellite -- oh wait, it's
a plane") Also completely non sequitur (but while on the topic of Jenn)
-- she really likes "finger" (uh, yeah, the Internet kind) She also
wants to warn potential Toronto tourists about the big body of water
lying just south of Queen street. (I love how she pronounces "water".
It's "woota" :-) )

I got to finally meet Lisa Jackson, the person who is responsible for
about half of Titanic's box-office profits. She is AWESOME. Neither of
us could remember the words to "Adia" so that's all we shouted out at
the appropriate places in the song (ADIA!!!) Also, she pointed out that
the Barenaked Ladies' album, "Maybe You Should Drive", can be taken four
different ways depending on the word being emphasized (try it! Maybe you
should DRIVE! etc.)

Thanks to Angie and Greg for having us, and Mari for helping organize
(and also to Ange's parents for having us.) More will be forthcoming
from my personal account in a few days when I get home and remember all
the things I forgot to talk about, but all in all it's been AWESOME.
Jenn agrees. :-)

love and hugs,
Julian and Jenn
P.S. We finally got to meet the married couple from FTE, Christine and
Rick. Rock on!
P.P.S. Photos will be up on my website within the week (no bad ones of
Jenn :) or she'll beat me with a stick)


"Hey your glass is empty...."  NOT!  At least not here... At least not
Christine's glass ... ok more people have the bottomless glass, but i
_NEVER_ drink (so says Christine)

Bonjour (for those of you who aren't French-speakin' peeples...that
means "Hi") from Christine & Rick (the married Fumblers).  Actually
Christine is busy downing her Mudslide (not - im drinking fuzzy navels
now) and looking at pictures of people who look like trees while I type

Christine is still going on about how her Long Island Ice Tea tasted so
sh*tty (*= i in case you didnt know) ...probably because she drank a
litre of the stuff (Christine says "sh*t") from playing Suicide.  She
lost............BIG TIME!  I'm trying not to get any blood on this
laptop.  The mosquitoes here are so brutal that they leave you to bleed
to death after they bite you.  I got bit on the temple and the top of
the head and it looks like I got into a street fight.

Christine dragged my butt into the water this morning just to wade for a
bit...(Christine:  he went willingly) and it was so freakin' cold I
think some body parts froze and fell off and are now floating somewhere
near the dock. (but they're back now thank God *evil grin* - so says

Okay, aside from our (my) bitching....it's been a great time away from
the city.  Everyone has been so great here...and we're finally putting
faces with e-mail addresses.  : )  The trip here wasn't too bad...and I
think Mari, Christine & I want to do a re-mix of "The Way" by Fastball
("...they're dead....they're dead.....")  And though we didn't see any
deer crossing the road on their hindlegs, you know you're far from the
city when you see a sky uncontaminated by the city lights and can see
stars in the horizon.  Christine nods emphatically. 

Photos to follow (hopefully Monday)...

NEXT ........


Curvaceous glasses. Whose?

We are having another toe-related incident here in Ontario. I am not
sure I should say anything. In fact, it would be FAR too dangerous to
say anything considering what happened last time. Yikes, me and toes 
are a dangerous combination.

This weekend I met more new fumblers than at any other time on this 
trip. Aww yeah baby. And each and every one is extraordinary. 
(Buddy the mystery dawg is whimpering behind me and wants some 

My trip is now more than half over and my road buddy Mari will be 
joining me for much of the last leg starting Monday. (sewery [phoenetic
Canadian spelling of Sorry 8-}), I had to pat the FTE mascot Julian's 
head.) I missed Julian and his hugs muchly, he is adorable. The first 
part of my journey was largely a solitary one, but from here on out 
it will be a wonderful communal journey  (Mari, this is going to 
be a BLAST! *hug*).( :g (gecko tongues)) .

"Jenn wants to play a drinking game, hurry up with your nails!"  <--Ang
          ^---- This night just gets more interesting 8-}

Better to let others type...

Hi, it's Mari now.  oh-my-gosh, but this is the smallest keyboard ever. 
Considering I can barely type coherently at the best of times, this is
going to be a REAL challengenow that (a) I've been drinking (b) this is
a TINY keyboard (c) I've been drinking (d) the others are getting eager
to use this table for drinking games and, oh yeah (e) I've been

Seriously, there's a bug on the keyboard.  Yikes.  Well, if you're still
reading this by now y'all [y'all=new word Jenn taught me to say minus a
Canadian accent] will have realized that we're having an excellent time
here.  Despite the bugs.  Last night we got to lie out on the dock, it
was the dead of night and there we sooooo many stars.  We even saw two
shooting ones *sigh*.  Lovely lovely lovely.  And all the fumblers are
wondermously cool, it's hard to believe that I haven't known you guys
all my life.  

***I'm gonna Road-trip with Bloo*** (melt)

Raspberry Swirls, Sambuca tumblers, and Ang's scary ghost stories....

(who does NOT believe in the Man-in-the-Black-Hat) (Really)

Hi, Jenni Hawkins here.  Aaaaghhh!!! 12 hours of driving.....  We left
Thursday around 9pm Indiana time, and by the time we've gone home,
there'll be over 1,000 miles on the car.  All in 4 days.  We were so
tired when we got here.  We came to Toronto for an Amiga show, but since
we're poor, we asked if someone wanted to put us up for the weekend... 
Angela offered, and we were on our way.

I just want to say that apparently Michigan and Canada, despite their
differing tax rates, have decided that road repair is the last thing
that they want to spend money on.
The road=  ^^^^^^^^^^car^^^^^^^^^^  

So we got to the show, and did Amiga stuff, and then we left to go have
lunch with a bunch of people we'd never met...  We didn't speak much,
but then John and I were mostly busy contemplating the surreality of how
big Toronto is, and the irony of the Lone Star Cafe (calling itself a
True Taste of Texas) in a city a thousand miles away from the Texas.
<Julian cuts in -- we just moved the party to our cabin as Ang was
falling unconscious from exhaustedness. Now back to Jenni :-) >

Hmmm.  We're being tossed out of Ange and Greg's cabin, so we're heading
over to Julian and Rannies and Frank's.  Uh-oh, it's a
group............no, not orgy, you naughty people....picture session. 5
cameras, and a demented formation akin to a sick game of Twister... 

"Can I put my foot in there?",  says Rannie the official photographer. 
"In where?", I asked.....

Drinks for everyone...

"Chimichanga" is the magic word, so says the congregation.  What it's
good for, I don't know.
So, after sleeping in a bug bed on Friday night, we drove back from
Apsley to Toronto for the Saturday edition of the Amiga show.  Where:

Squid sold a drawing, woo hoo!  $100 Canadian...  : )  Now we have money
to get home...
We met people from all over the planet...
And we didn't win any of the door prizes.  And they called around 100
names, too.

We drove back to Apsely (2-2.5 hours NE of Toronto, halfway to Ottawa as
some would say)
where we shared ghost stories about the man in the black hat (think
Poltergeist) and haunted houses.  I taught John how to play speed, Tass
and I talked about stupid horror movies (Night of the Living Dead - the
color remake  "Brains, brains, brains" and how they blow up Louisville,
KY with a nuclear bomb to kill all the already dead zombies)

I keep losing the cursor on the laptop because the buttons are so
small.... : )
But it's really cool.  I want one!

So, anyway, after we have fun tonight, and sleep in tomorrow, we're off
to Indianapolis.
I really like these Fumblers, and I wish that I could have flown instead
of driving so that we could've spent longer together.  When I told them
that we might just drive home today after the rumble, Jenn, Mari, and
Ange begged us to come back after the show.
How could we resist such cool people?

Now, if only someone in the Midwest would have another Fumblerumble so
that we wouldn't have to drive so far next time.  

That reminds me...  Whoever can go to Jessica's gig at the strawberry
festival in Indianapolis, please go!!!!  We need to muster support so
she doesn't lose heart!
Plus, our list very own mum Jill :D will be there...  (climbing down
from soapbox)

Okay, the laptop battery is burning my leg off, so I'm finishing my

Thank you, thank you, thank you Ange for inviting us!!!

{{fumblehugs to everybody}}

Tass agaian,
	Well, here we are in Julian's cottage (as Jenni is getting pulled up
off the couch...) Ange kicked us out so we are looking at Squids pics
and drinking (Mari thinks that I added to much vodka to her glass .. it
was onyl [" Ahhh they are being dismebred isn;t that cute "(says Mari)]
4 fingers of vodka ... sheeshh ... so otherwise it has been a blast (and
the moobunny has made an apperance. Julian and i forget what we wanted
to say... (this laptop is sooooo cuuuuttteeeee) According to Rannie
(depending on Traffic) the sun sets in the East during the summer.. And
Julian is a (Jenni is torturting the moobunny - i now have the moobunny
to me goes the power of the universe ) .. Jenn is still reading her
book...) We are trying to find music to play ...amazingly enough we have
had very little Sarah this weekend ( you would almost think we like
others more) So I am typing this with Green and Blue fingernail and
Purple toe nails ... Frank has purple pinkies and Rannie has all purple
nails (Julian is playing with the moobunny)... Oh well .. if you want to
make Julian like your post use lots of dots .......

Bye y'all (:

Jenn here.  Sunday now and we're all back into Ange's cabin.  Seems we
can't leave for a few hours due to the fact that there is a Tornado
warning.  Woohoo.  Probably the first fumblerumble that you CAN'T leave,
even if you wanted to(but who would want to)!!!  Okay,  Greg just came
in and told us that the good news was that the radio station hadn't
mentioned the warning in while, bad news...the radio station went dead. 
Ooops!!! Talk about dead time.

Hey, it's Mari again.  Nope, not too hungover (really).  So it's kind of
neat being "stuck" here with the other Fumblers.  Heee heee, I guess my
attempts at bribing the powers-that-be must have worked.  Cause we can't
leave.  Besides, I don't think Julian ever wants to go home and see his
phone bill.  Trivial Fact:  No matter how much Jenn drinks, no matter
how many furry animals she thinks she sees lurking in the shadows (hey
maybe it was one of those deers that can walk on hind legs), no matter
how insistent she is on removing all the mirrors from the cottage in
fear of the Man-in-the-Black-Hat - she will always always always
remember Julian's calling card number.   Uh oh, power is flicking on and
off.  We've developed an evacuation plan.  Tell my Mum I love her

(cue music from Jaws...dun dun dun dun...)  Welcome back to the
Hotel-Motel Apsley-Bates, where we can check out any time we like, but
we can never leave.  

I'm your narrator Jenni Hitchcock.  Walk down to room number 4 with me,
where unusual things have been happening.  If we go in, you'll see that
it looks like any other motel room.  But if we walk into the bathroom
and pull back the shower curtain, you'll see a bottle of half full
Sambuca that no one could drink because they couldn't drink anything
more or risk falling into an alcohol induced coma.  

It may look like an innocent restroom, but later you'll see horrendous
things happening there.  There are rumors of Men in Black Hats.  Mirrors
that are removed in fear, escorting friends to the lavatory for fear
that they may not return.

Let's leave room 4 now, and go to the main house.  If you look at the
2nd story log, you'll see a shadow of a man named Rannie exclaiming,
"Damn log!"  We may never know why.  Look to the cabin up the hill, and
you'll see the silhouette of Jenn and Mari banging on a phantom door
demanding a Sambuca freedom concert.  Turn your head from the horror of
Julian telling them to "go to hell, we're trying to sleep."

Look for my sequel, "The Bugs", in which I recount the chilling tales of
a group of people who are attacked by strangely possessed insects.  


So that's about it for this psycho weekend :-) If you read this far, pat
yourself on the back -- this is probably going to end up taking an
entire digest <grin> Jenn's taken everything from me, not the least of
which would be my CALLING CARD NUMBER! (I can just picture the
commercial now. "Why Julian switched back to Bell -- Jenn [with two n's]
had my Bay Long Distance calling card number!" :)

We made lots of telephone calls last night on that card, talked to
Antknee for about 45 minutes and then Xochitl for about half an hour (by
some accounts... I took off after talking to her, because I was getting
eaten alive by mosquitoes in the phone booth). Also tried to call a
bunch of other people, such as John Stewart, Whitney (there's a message
on your voicemail at work, Whit), Jess Thaler, Patrick, Jason Kurylo,
Lois, etc. etc. etc. No one was home -- I guess you must have lives.
[Tass is complaining that we didn't try calling him, because he's
bragging that he still has full satellite digital capabilities on his
cellphone, despite ground transformers blowing like candles [Tass: "more
like 'rednecks shooting at hillbillies] around us due to the high winds.

We should be off after lunch, so unless someone else turns this laptop
on, that should be about it. 

	Well, it has come to that time agian .. final moments at night while
drinking .. NEWS FLASH-- Rannie is the UNI-SWATTER!!! , now that we are
back to normal we have to leave ... which is sad and seems like and end.
But cry not my new found friends, for this is not the start of the end
but the end of the begging an dthe whole stort still awaits us out there
" Go not gently unto that good night, but rage, rage against the dying
of the light" (especially if you have this breed of mossies and flies...
they carry anisethic so you dont feel them ripping out junks of flesh..
just discover bleeding holes in your head). It is very mellow now ...
Dar playing in the back (and a fly swatter at my side - Rannie is going
nutso ... but will Julian ever forget about the dismebred hand in the
car) -NEWS FLASH- Rannie has a green one and a brown one .. what we do
not know.. Oh well ... I shall sign off now ... but i leave you with
this last bit of advice ... guard your calling cards and watch out for
logs ...

Love to all here and cheers to the rest ... In memories forever...(42)

Tass - Still posseing his Gecko tongue..

More ramblings from the Uniswatter cheesecake twin (rannie)

Okay is it me or do i have twice as many bites as i did the first night
i was here.... last nite was quite a blur but ( i just got another
mosquito....hurray) i do remember somethings.... the mosquito infested
phone booth where i talked to ant-knee on the phone... the sword dancing
tsss... and broadway dock singing... ( the brady bunch)and something
about jen and mari shaking down our shack.. trying to get in... to pull
us out to see the sunrise... anyways.. it doesn't look like we are gonna
play man hunt.... and tass is about to depart... i gotta go cath my ride
to see the night dancing deer... hopefully with the wind and tornado
warnings.. they will still be performing....

lots of love... thanks ang... we love you....
till the next rumble 
Rannie: The uniswatter..chessecake twin


I know this has been just inCREDibly long, but people had written so
by the end it was impossible to separate these contribution out into 
separate posts.

Before time runs out and I cross the border again (with Mari! yay! 8-})

Love y'all,
Brian 8-}

Brian Wilson -----------------------"Those aren't Sex muffins!   -Coach
[email protected] ------------------Those aren't Love muffins! 
http://www.blooberry.com/ -----------Those are just BLOOberry muffins!"
Creator of Index DOT Html: http://www.blooberry.com/html/intro.htm

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